Clipping time

Bless his heart Logan was into everything today. That includes opening the back door. I swear I almost had a heart attack today. He can now open the side door to the house which is the one we use all the time. My husband and I were laying on the bed talking this afternoon, no big deal right? All of a sudden, he shoots up and says, "That was a door opening." My first thought was, "Oh God, Logan went outside. I then jumped up and ran into the kitchen. My first thought was that he had headed for the road. The thing you have to understand is that for the most part Logan shows no fear of anything. He will run out into the road without ever looking to see if anything is coming. I ran out the door and for a second I was scared to death I would see him in the road. Thank God he had gone to the fence that leads to the backyard. So I guess I am going to have keep the door locked even when we are here. That is the only thing I know to do to keep him safe. Then to top it off, I had to clip his fingernails tonight. Now keep in mind he has sensory issues big time. Loves to touch stuff and feel different textures. When I brought out the clippers he turned into a little hellcat!! You would have thought I was cutting fingers off instead of fingernails. He is so strong that every time I would get ready to clip he would jerk his hand back. When we were done, I had a cramp in one of my hands. He was so upset between the tears and his nose running that his face was all wet. I hate to stress him out like that but they had to be clipped. So I ask, why can't this task be easier? Life would be so much easier. I know God gave me this special child for a reason. However, at moments like those I have to wonder why he chose me. So today would be one of those days that autism kicked my butt a little. God bless to everyone.